I look around at the people who used to be close friend.
They party now, living it up in what seems to be paradise, or the closest they can get to it in thier minds.

I have gone on and made my way to college, living and learning the reason we are here, why we act the way we do, and how happy chemicals are released in our brains.
After studying the mind, I look at my past pals and wonder what it was like with the absence of knowledge I have now.
Im not calling them dumb or forwarding names, but i wonder about them, parties and raves and drinking and drugs. Does it ever get old? Does it ever get to the point of boredom? or do these things substitute for time?
Im happy with where I am, I have learned so much about the world around me- sure it is depressing, but i've figured out my heaven.
A pleace where people dont tailgate, where they dont get pissed because you made a human error, where they aren't grumpy and where the rules apply with graciousness. A place where there is no war, no hate, no rebellion, where the people work for the people and not thee greed.
A place where the gluttony siezes to show its face, as well as the other sins.
A place where seritonin and dopomine are in your system all the time. Where the man wont get you down, where you can lie on the beach and the only thing you have to worry about is when you get hungry, not time.
It is a place that I am working towards, a place I am willing to go through this depressing hell on earth to accomplish. Where knowledge is key and free.
Its the place where, if you were looking down on earth, you would ask, "how come no one can get along here?"
Here, the compassion is missing, the love and understanding of our own race is missing. We are ignorant twoard ourselves, wanting nothing to do with eachother. Is is human nature to be this way? perhaps, but we are capable of so much more.
In the back of our minds we have a choice. Deceive, or connect. when you look at corporate America, deception is the gist, thought some try to overcome this negativity.
Why do we deceive? Why do we charge 4 bucks for a loaf of bread when we down have the money to eat? Why do we charge for health care and education? Don’t we want our race to succeed? Don't we want the best for ourselves?
This world, it is the challenge. And those who go and party and "live it up" really ar running away from the face of truth. Its not a bad thing, and im not saying you shouldn't do it. But, this is what is happening to the world. This, because of the sins, is what we are reducing ourselves to.
I dont have any place to say I am better than anyone because I can go to college. The truth is, I cant really afford college, and my debt will consume my paycheck Im sure until the day I die. So why am I going? Why am i persuing this path if I know what heaven is going to be like? Because I know that when I die, i at least believe I will die knowing the world for what it was, and taking that knowledge with me.
It doesnt take a genious to realize the world is full of hatred. But I understand what we would want to continue life. the Art the music thecompassion, the love, the kindness, the understzanding, the good things that pop up once in a while in our lives, the ones we keep trying for. The happiness we try and grasp. The monney wont make you happy, but you will try and make it fufill your needs because that is all you know- as well as any other substituting object.
So I guess what I am trying to say is, I know its tough, and believe me, I feel your pain, forI am human as well. But I can promise one thing: It always gets worse before it gets better, and we are in the worse of it now.